My lizard adventures

I was a psycho kid. I loved catching lizards and putting 20 of them in a small bucket and shaking the bucket as hard as I could while yelling "earthquake!!"

One time when I was 6 I tried to teach this lizard how to eat grass. I sat the lizard in the bucket and then said to it, "Okay, this is how you eat grass". I stuck the piece of grass in my mouth and chewed on it very slowly and deliberately so that the lizard would learn a thorough lesson about grass chewing.

"Now eat!" I stuck the grass in the bucket with the lizard. The lizard refused to eat my grass. I was offended. "Stupid lizard; eat the grass!" But it still refused.

The worst thing was that when I got angry at lizards I would fling them onto the pavement and kill them with a broom! That's horrible. Poor lizards :(